Objects in the review mirror may appear cooler than they are.
Having children is a sure fire way to find yourself reminiscing about eons ago when you were young with an infinite amount of passion to spend on cartoons, toys and candy.
Some things we never let go of (Star Wars or The Princess Bride for instance) so we are certain of their awesomeness as no time has lapsed in our viewing. However there are some that are only echoes of how our 8 year old self viewed them and it isn’t until you’ve revisited in the hopes of sharing with your kids that you learn the awful truth.
The truth that, unfortunately, 8 year olds are not always the best judges of quality as the first half of our list will demonstrate.
Things from Your Childhood That Didn’t Hold Up
I kill ME!
I wish it weren’t so, but it is. The live-action sitcom about my favorite cat-eating space creature is a turd sandwich. It pains me to write that, I was obsessed with ALF when I was a kid. I had cups, t-shirts and hand puppets in his likeness, I spouted his catchphrases and watched both the original show and the cartoon religiously but the proof is in the pudding. The writing is horrendous, the acting is terrible and it’s just not funny. Don’t believe me? Then you may watch the “hilarious” moments reel and judge for yourself.
Having a baby is one of the most momentous, beautiful and bewildering life-changing experiences to happen to anyone so of course companies pounce on it like hyenas on a warthog carcass. There are more useless products marketed to new parents than potentially any other demographic. Websites abound saying baby’s first year will cost upwards of $5,500 bucks (not counting the hospital bills). Save your money and your space by skipping the following craptactular items.
1o. Infant Car Seat
These things are worthless. They only fit babies from 5- 20 lbs which means they will last you for at most one year and then you will have to go out and purchase another carseat. Convertible carseats fit children from 5 lbs all the way up to 35, 40 or even 45 lbs depending on the brand. This means your child will be riding safely from birth until they are ready for a booster seat (5+ years).
9. Tummy Time Mat
Your child will use this thing a couple of times, then they will become mobile, lose interest and you will have this brightly colored nightmare shoved into the back of the closet until a friend gets knocked up and you can push it off on them. Do you have a blanket? A toy or two? You’re all set up for tummy time, no foam bendy things required.